As I wrote yesterday about endings and beginnings, I started to ponder where we put God’s will in the midst of all the swirling changes that occur within our lives. This morning I read something about how we too often “baptize” our will and call it God’s. I have had my PhD in that at times. Doing what I want and praying for God to bless it! The funny thing about that is, he is not fooled. He knows our thoughts, motivations and the intentions of our hearts. Why is it then, when we are seeking God’s will, we really are more “self-focused” than “God-focused”? Sure we are human, selfish and want our way. But, in the end don’t we really want to be where He wants us to be? Recently I had a conversation with the Big Guy about this subject (His will and mine, and trying to baptize the path I was on) I asked Him…

“What do You want to say to me about this situation? After all you are God and I am not. I know, I know, I can forget that at times…sorry!” (The key here is that I have to shut my mouth and be quiet to hear His response, a very hard thing for a girl like me.)

When I was finally quiet I heard Him say…

“You can continue on this path you have chosen, and I will be with you always, but I cannot use you or bless you here.”

UGH! I hate it when He is right! But as uncomfortable and sad as I was, I immediately felt a peace about the change in course. His GPS (God’s Powerful Spirit) always leads me back from being lost on the back roads, short cuts and wrong turns and directs me back to the path I need to be on. Maybe it’s the explorer in me or my mischievous nature that takes me there, because Lord do I know these back roads well. But I will always be grateful for a God who will listen to this child when I finally stop and ask for directions!

And as I yell out, “ARE WE THERE YET?” He always replies “No, we still have a few more miles to cover girl, stay the course and be blessed!”

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.” Seneca

Oh how we can fight the beginnings and ends within our lives. The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are. Easier said than done, that first step. We have to let go of the old, to embrace the new. Allow something to die, in order to create space for new life to grow. Walk away from what is familiar and comfortable, into the unfamiliar and uncomfortable,  you know what I mean. This week I had friends move from a well loved place, filled with loads of memories into a new home that they are not familiar with yet.  Jackson, Grace and I arrived with the first dinner to the wonderful chaotic awkwardness of the first day in their new nest. Our friends were trying the house on for size, settling in, deciding where things would be placed and feel comfortable….like home. Yes, an ending of an era and a beginning of a new chapter sure to be filled with adventures, laughter, tears, stories and lots of love in their new “Hood and Home”.

Endings are not only moves but job changes, career shifts, school years and summers, single to married, married to single, no babies… to a house full of kids, to them leaving to go to college…Cha, Cha, Cha, Cha, CHANGES are always a brewing. I love the Robert Frost quote, ” There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go.” UGH, the unknown, not for the faint at heart or for type A’s like me, we love a plan. Sometimes we have to walk away, break up and leave even though we love. Stepping back from something without knowing where the next step is. Stepping back to allow there to be a new beginning…. even though there is love but no certain place to go. This can be the most difficult, it’s like knowing when to put the fork down even though it tastes so good. Knowing when to say “Enough.” because in the long run it’s not good for you. I can hear the words to a very familiar song…..
“So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight I hate to go and leave this pretty sight…” Knowing when to leave the party. Oh, how I can hate those Big Girl Panties!

So, let the winds of change blow and may we remember…..”The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”William Arthur Ward

Let’s adjust our sails and look back in gratitude for what it was and what was given when we find ourselves at the endings…. and may we be full of HOPE and WONDER with each new beginning that ending brings!