This is part 2 of my comings and goings….Yes, I have written about this before but it is a constant in our life especially in the lives of parents….Birth, school, driving, college, home again…. then off to the world! Our hearts get pulled, twisted, tugged, cut and healed in this process. When my sweet son Andrew went away to New York to attend the Culinary Institute of America I thought I would just die, I missed him so much. But I lived and adjusted to life without Andrew under the roof. To be honest, as each of the boys left to head out into the world it created a tear in my heart. Even now when my little ones go to their dad’s for the weekend there are little spaces that feel empty and ache. As a parent it is tough to adjust to the comings and goings of these children we love so deeply. We make space, let go, welcome back and make room. We adjust, say goodbye and have re-entry…..it’s the rhythm of life as a parent.
Last October Andrew came home and we adjusted to 4 under this roof again. He brought all his “Stuff” and squeezed in, love and joy on top of one another. Re-entry. We adjusted to our returned tribe member easily. He is my Zen Child and easy to live with. And along with him came his new skill in the kitchen! Cooking up yummy treats for us, teaching us how to make sushi, brussel sprouts, even how to brew beer! To be honest I will not miss the smell of hops brewing or the grinding of the meat, stuffing of sausage casings and making of liverwurst! There are somethings that I just don’t want to know or smell when it comes to food. But I will miss him. What a joy and education to have him home again for a short time.
Tomorrow Andrew moves out with his brother and a dear friend John “Cougar”.
This morning I was caught by the anxious feeling of this going. I have been blessed to have him under my roof twice and it is time to go ….. but…. the going this time is a final chapter of sorts, it is very unlikely that he will be back “Living” under my roof. He, along with his older brothers, is very capable of living under his own roof now. I did my job and so did they.
So just like a great book that you finish, you will miss reading it and hate to see it end. The thing to remember is that the Author is not done writing the whole story….there will be more chapters to read, pages to turn….. comings and goings. I have been incredibly blessed to have had a supporting role in Andrew’s story, as well as the others. And one thing I know for sure is that there is always the next page….and what a page turner it has been…….NEXT!